I just discovered simplynoise.com, this website offers white, pink and brown noise on their site for free. They even have a white noise app. (You can find an app today for just about anything.)
The beauty about white noise is that it gradually vanishes into the background and is not something you readily notice. When I was a little girl my sister and shared a bedroom. We did not have central air condition yet so we had this floor fan. You guessed it the sound of this fan became white noise for us. Every night we went to bed with the fan motor humming us to sleep. Each morning when daddy rose at about five o’clock he would come into our room and turn off the fan. Soon if nothing else woke us up the ‘silence’ of the quiet morning had our eyes wide open.
Have you ever noticed when the power goes out in your house just how quiet it is? Just the hum of the refrigerator motor missing creates a huge sound void in the house.
The death of my friend was like turning off the refrigerator motor the ‘noise’ of her presence was silenced. Just as you notice when the electricity goes off you notice when a friend is no longer a part of your daily life in much the same profound way.
So you ask, ‘what exactly is white noise?’ White noise is a noise produced by combining sounds of all different frequencies together. If you took all the different frequencies a human can hear and combined them together, that would be white noise.
My sister, to this day, still sleeps with a fan on every night. The white noise from the fan motor lulls her to sleep.
White light is made up of all the different colors (frequencies) of light together.
A prism confirms this quality of white light since it is able to separate the seven colors of the spectrum. White noise works the exact same way.
So how does this work and how does it relate to my friend? The human brain is an exceptional part of our body, but it does have its limitations. When too many conversations or sounds are being heard by our brain it has limited capacity to focus. Once say several conversations are being heard simultaneously the brain no longer even attempts to process the information. It just becomes noise…white noise.
Now that my friend is not physically present and my brain cannot focus on her alone she has become for me white noise. I find this to be comforting because I know she is with me even though I cannot see her. Just as I know all colors are present in white light even though I cannot see them all at the same time.
Seeing is in most cases believing. I think of St. Thomas, he needed to see the wounds in the hands and feet of Jesus that post resurrection day in the upper room. I believe in the true presence of Jesus in the Eucharist even though I cannot see him in the precious Body and Blood.
I believe even though I can no longer see my friend’s beautiful smiling face; she is with me. God is light and just maybe when you die and pass into the light you become part of the essence of that light. Once you become part of the ‘God Light’ we here on earth can no longer see you with our human eyes. You are a part of the light that surrounds us all, but you do not lose your ‘unique’ color.
Yes, I do know she is dead, but I do not believe death is as final as we might in our limited understanding believe it to be.
If all we ever saw was white light we would never be able to appreciate the colors of the rainbow. God gave the colorful rainbow as a sign to Noah of his covenant to never again destroy the earth by floods. (Genesis 9:13-14)
Next time you see a rainbow or hear white noise think of the presence of a loved one. They are with you, you just cannot see or hear them any longer.