“If Jesus can be said to have had a best friend,
it was certainly Simon Peter.
It has been my experience that
friends define each other.
When I am uncertain about the direction of my life,
I go to my closest friends to affirm,
or perhaps reaffirm,
who I am and what the calling in my life is all about.”
Several years ago I read these words written by Michael Card in his book A Fragile Stone. They jumped off the page then, but today they have an even more profound meaning to me. The loss of my friend has made me stop as if held in between two breaths. I have lost my Faith Twin, the person who gave definition to my life purpose. Her affirming words always came at just the right time. “You CAN do this.” We gave each other permission to express our faith outside of the more conventional parameters. It was okay for us to take a gospel story and make it our very own. It was natural for us to invite others to walk into the pages of scripture with us; to bring them alive in today’s world.
Whenever I had doubts I knew I could go to her and be honest and open about where I was with situations in my life. I believe I can still talk with her; only I cannot hear her affirming words.
Who am I? Where am I going? How will I get there?
She was there to listen and to offer her advice. When you risk sharing your hopes and dreams with another you must trust that they will affirm you. You have faith; they will help you decide what is to ultimately come to define who you are becoming.
I have lost my sounding board. The defining pages of my life have less clarity today than before her death. She was present on so many occasions as we wrote the pages of our lives together. Together we defined each other as we shared our love for others in so many ways.
I sometimes feel like Linus. Who would he be without his blanket? But unlike a real person; a blanket is just a thing. A blanket cannot respond to you.
You may be wondering if we were codependent and the answer is a confident NO, but it was so nice to have her here to share the defining moments of what my life was becoming.
One of our last conversations was about the future for Faith Twins…me alone…without her presence. This conversation was saturated with hope for a beautiful future. A future preserving what we had defined through our friendship. A future filled with hope…a future filled with blank pages delicately bordered by the fingerprints of our friendship… pages…to be continued… defining my life’s purpose. She had a way of helping me to see what my calling in life was about…I know there are many times yet to come when I will long to hear her words of reassurance…just to hear her voice.
I will walk all the days of my life
in the land of the living….
For it is right and just to give him praise and thanks.
Praise and thanks for touching my life in so many subtle and profound ways.
Who most helps define who you are today?
Give thanks for that person.