This Easter week the gospels about the Empty Tomb, the women gathering and weeping, and the angels keeping watch were so touching to me. I have heard and read these stories many times but they had more meaning this year.
It has only been seven months since her death. Or, has been seven months already?
I often vacillate between both attitudes. Life is so much about your perspective. You know the half full half empty glass concept. So this week I have been taken back to the scene of her death.
While it was not an empty tomb by any means; instead it was the middle bedroom slash computer slash sewing slash television room. I guess you could say the multi-purpose room.
As I have reflected this week on the gospel scene depicting the two angels sitting in the empty tomb I see us gathered around her. Some of us were at her feet…some of us were at her head…some were on the floor at her side. She was surrounded on all sides by loved ones.
As God gently drew her back to him we were there keeping watch… praying… expressing our love for her. Thinking back it really was a beautiful peace-filled scene.
While technically none of us present were angels just the same we honored with much reverence her crossing from death into her new life. The angels keeping watch in the empty tomb of Jesus were also honoring his passage although very different.
Jesus died a violent cruel death. His loved ones were not allowed to touch him while he was hanging on the cross during his final hours of suffering. How heart breaking that must have been for Mary.
I feel that we were most blessed to have been present for her death. We touched her, caressed her, spoke words of love to her. I like to think our presence somehow made the transition more peaceful for her.
We gathered by her side for her, but we also gathered together for one another. We know that we will never forget this time we had together. Each time since then when I have had the occasion to hug one who was present that evening it is a special connected embrace. An embrace of compassionate knowing I guess you might say.
I think back to Mary and the apostles, how they must have felt a similar connection having shared in witnessing the crucifixion.
While I do not expect to experience any visual appearances from my friend; I have experienced the feeling of the spirit of her presence. I feel sometimes as if I am blind. When you are blind they say you sense things in a more intense manner. The mind and body compensate for what would normally be received through seeing.
Perhaps death is like a ‘blindness’ so the heart is compensated through other avenues. It is beautiful really to hold these things in my heart. It is also a blessing to share them with others.
I pray that whatever God puts on my heart to write here will give comfort to someone else; if not now sometime in the future. Perhaps years from now someone will stumble across this blog just when they need it most. So I pray for those people today…future readers who must also embark on this journey of grief.
There is no way to escape the grief…you may attempt to ignore it for awhile, but it hangs around. It is not packed neatly inside your heart; it is sometimes more like a natural disaster you must wait out.
The Multi-Purpose Room is our Sacred Room…her spirit will remain there for us to delight in remembrance. It is one place we can come to honor her as the angels sat in the empty tomb of Jesus with love.