As I sit before the computer keyboard today I am at a loss for words. What more is there to say? What happens when we run out of words? Is that when we cease to exist? If there are no more words that need to be said that must be the end. I do not really believe lack of words is an ending.
There are times when words do not suffice. There are times when words get in the way. There are times when words are not necessary. If this is true then why do we miss the words once spoken by a loved one?
Many years ago I had a dream that I was sitting in the bath tub full of water reading what seemed like a newspaper. It was large and I had to lift up my arms to keep it out of the water. The letters seemed so black against the bright white paper.
I was not actually reading the words they were just there upon the page. Letters near each other forming words spread apart with white empty space. Some of the letters pushed into the top of the empty space, while others pushed below the invisible bottom line.
Just when I thought I could actually read what these letters had formed together they slowly began to slide into the bath water. They did not disappear or dissolve; they just floated about aimlessly in the water. Some of the letters gradually sank into the water, but still retaining their properties of color, shape and size.
What these letters had lost was their coherent ability to communicate. You see they needed to be with the other letters in order for me to decipher their message. Each letter alone could not convey the same message. Sometimes I feel like a letter that has fallen off the page searching for the rest of my word.
I think that is what it is like when a loved one is gone. Either their letter is missing from the word or you have dropped out of the word. I do not know which.
There are certainly times in a relationship when you can just ‘be’ and words are not necessary. Silence in a relationship is often thought of as a sign of mature love. We do not always speak words that convey our deepest feelings and emotions.
Returning to my dream; as the letters floated about the tub it came time to let the water out. From here I do not have a clear memory so I will create my own ending. I guess it is called artistic liberty. Here is the ending I would have wanted.
When the letters had all slipped down the drain, having no other choice; there were four letters remaining in the bottom of the tub. Somehow these four letters manage to remain because when all else is gone these four letters find a way to cling to whatever they can. I know you can guess what four letters…L…O…V…E
They will always remain because they are fixed in the soul of the one who loves and fixed in the soul of the one who is loved.
The greatest of all is love. Love never dies or fades away. Love spans fathoms.
When there are no words to be spoken there is love. When no words can be spoken there is love. When the ears can no longer hear the spoken words there is love.
Sometimes the best way love can be expressed is through music. I am listening to Michael Hoope’s CD Solace. Music has this magnificent ability to wrap around you and sneak into your heart.
I have not run out of words, they have just taken on a different context. Today the words are not on a page or on the bottom of the bathtub. Words today are in the silent recesses of my heart. There they are safe and will not fall from a page or slip down the drain.