“Just a little more time, Dear Jesus, just a little more time.”
At times I just feel numb! No, I want to feel this “…Thy will be done…” I want to have one more road trip…laughing, eating Cheetos, and making cord rosaries sitting in the back seat. I want to cook one more lunch for the retreatants together “…Thy will be done…” I want to kneel beside her for morning Mass one more time and pray the Our Father together “…Thy will be done…” I want to see the happiness on her face as she plays the singing bowl “…Thy will be done…”
I must keep reminding myself; all things happen in your life for a reason, Sharon. I know I am a better person because of our friendship, but what about now. What is the reason for God wanting her… here…now? What is my lesson here? What if I miss it? And never understand what I needed to learn from losing her. God, grant me the serenity to accept…
The tug of war continues between my head and my heart.
It is true what they say “life goes on”. But this life will “go on” forever changed, changed for the better.
I am reminded of the lyrics from a song I love.
“For Good” from Wicked
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don’t know if I believe that’s true
But I know I’m who I am today
Because I knew you, my dearest friend.
This is where I am so far…
I will keep writing…it is good for the soul…at least my soul.
Today we will share a few “Cheetos”, some laughter and tenderness together as we celebrate my birthday. I know this will be a birthday I will remember for the rest of my life. I want to make it a happy memory for both of us.