Everyday Spirituality

“Just a little more time, Dear Jesus, just a little more time.”

And then a flash…I am kneeling at the feet of Jesus not washing them with my tears, but asking him to please help me to accept that which I cannot change. Serenity is not a word I use in my daily conversation.

I cannot control the way I feel, I cannot make these feelings go away. Wait! I do not want to make these feelings go away. I want to feel this pain of loss; I want to feel this sense of helplessness, I want to feel this true sense of surrender.

My friend and I for over twenty years have walked together through thick and thin. We have been there for each other in good times and in bad times. We have comforted and consoled one another and now I just want to hold her tiny frail body close to my heart. To whisper words to her heart that she can take with her to heaven.

To be sure we have also had our times when we disagreed, but it did not matter because in the end it was our mutual love for one another that was stronger. And yes she fusses at me from time to time when I have moments of self doubt.

We pray together. We eat Cheetos together. We laugh until our jaws ache and tears well up in our eyes. We invite the Holy Spirit to be present in everything we prepare.

I just want to hold her tiny frail body in my arms and tell her how much I wish I could make her all new.

But wait; I love butterflies. Butterflies exemplify what the beauty of life after death…resurrection…must truly be like…emerging from what appears to be death only to be a creature totally different and more beautiful than before…more graceful…more joy filled. Free to soar where before only limited to creeping and crawling on the ground or on tree limbs.  Butterflies are fragile you cannot hold them and you cannot caress them, but yet they bring great joy. They drift peacefully in the sky landing on a flower sipping nectar, catching some of the sun’s warmth.

Free to soar!

Will she be free to soar?

 

 

Advertisements

Comments on: "Just a Little More Time… pt.2" (4)

  1. Joe and Domenica said:

    Sharon, all of us are suffering as we now enter into the start of our friend’s journey into the next life. Please keep reflecting and sharing. We have you in our prayers!

    • Thanks, Domenica. I know that I do not stand alone in my sorrow. Perhaps my words will be a voice for many others. While certainly not polished writing helps me cope. I appreciate the time you took to read what I wrote and to respond as well. Peace.

  2. Gwen Richards said:

    God grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change, the COURAGE to accept the things I can and the WISDOM to know the difference.

    Sharon,

    I love the butterfly analogy you’ve used here today – very beautiful. I see it as God’s way of granting you the SERENITY that you need to help you cope with your friends illness. It will also help you find the COURAGE to accept that which you can change. Just look to the butterfly when you’re feeling sad about your friend.

    You are truly blessed to have had such a friendship.

    I love you,

    Gwen

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: