Everyday Spirituality

Our Father who art in heaven…Thy will be done…

Serenity Prayer…God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.

These next few blog posts may not have beautiful pictures or sweet music from you tube for you to enjoy. Instead there will only be words from my grief stricken heart.

There have been a few times in my life when I may have wanted to “play God”…when our first born son was dying of malnutrition and needed intestinal surgery to save his life…when my beloved grandmother was dying of lung cancer and would not get to know and love my children…when my daddy, only sixty-four, needed a heart transplant but could not last long enough…when my mother in law died from breast cancer only having a few short years with her grandsons.

Today I find myself once again in a place where if I could for a moment “play God” I would heal my dear friend from her cancer and restore her body to its healthy state. But I know …  “…Thy will be done…” I know this in my head and I can say the prayers, but in my heart I do so want things to be different I do so want her to be healed. I know I am not in a unique situation, but right now today what matters is getting through to tomorrow.

Sometimes I feel like I am in a tug of war. My head is pulling in one direction and my heart is pulling just as hard in the opposite direction. I know in my head what my faith has taught me about going to a better place when you die, but my heart does not want to let go. I want to hold her close to me ever so gently; and then I can so vividly picture Jesus also wanting to hold her close to himself.

“Just a little more time, Dear Jesus, just a little more time.”  I pray.

Last night my husband and I were watching this darling 10 year old singing In the Arms of an Angel.Her voice was as beautiful as an angel itself. I began to think about heaven. If we can make such beautiful music here on earth how much more beautiful must heavenly music be. There must be music in heaven; how could there not be?

“Just a little more time, Dear Jesus, just a little more time.”  I plead.

“Just a little more time”…….

to be continued…


Comments on: "Just a Little More Time…" (3)

  1. So beautiful and eloquent… as is your sweet friendship with Betty. I am brought back to thoughts of my mother and how bittersweet the time left is. I hold you, Betty and everyone who knows and loves her in my thoughts and prayers. Love, Lanie

  2. Linda Hirshberger said:


    You and Betty are in my prayers. I know how it feels to want a little more time and I’m still struggling with the “not now” answer. Please keep me updated. I love you both.


  3. Your posts usually make my heart soar with joy but this one made me cry. Like you said…no sweet songs or pretty pictures but the harsh reality of the tangibly heavy sadness that life can bring.

    There are no words to say when there is so much hurt. To see someone we love be so sick with cancer is heart-breaking. I think the best we can do is hold on to each other, love each other and sustain each other. We can also remind each other of what we KNOW to be true versus what we FEEL in the heaviness of our hurting hearts. We may FEEL hopeless but what we KNOW to be true is that God reigns and His love is perfect and sufficient.

    Love you friend…very much.

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